Pseudo-New Yorker

Legal humor here.

“I’ve got to hand it to you, Eddie. You’re a fucking genius.”

“Shit! Do you remember when we used to eat logs? It’s been a hell of a century, I’ll say that.”

“You know what would taste good right now? A hubcap.”

“Yeah, four’s my limit. Lucky for us the kid will be back on Wednesday.”

“‘You two look like two doughnuts on a giant’s dick.’ Where the hell did that come from? I busted my ass getting her that tiger skin, and now she’s out on the town every night. I’m better off without her.”

“Marge wants to paint the place, but how do you improve on bare rock? I mean, it’s so real!”

“Damn it, these were supposed to last us through the winter. I guess that isn’t going to happen.”

“Yeah, old Ogg swings a mean hammer. Lucky for us he can’t count past two.”

“I hear the Neanderthals are putting poppy seeds on these things. How gay is that?”

“Eat up, Charlie. In another hour they’ll be as hard as a you know what.”