Pseudo-New Yorker

Legal humor here. 

“Trust me, dude. You do not want to elect this guy President.”

“Let’s just say that ‘Lost’ was not entirely fiction.”

“We’re either going to be very, very rich or else we’ll end up as the set for one dynamite episode of ‘The Twilight Zone’.”

“Those Cayman accounts are just pocket change. This is where he keeps his real money.”

“They’re migrating towards the equator at the rate of about four inches per century. We’d rather you not mention that until after the election.”

“Let’s just say we bet the ranch on this one.”

“It appears that Mormonism actually arose in the South Pacific and spread to the United States hundreds of years after its inception.”

“Polygamy has consequences, and they aren’t always pretty.”

“I know this is going to be a shock to you, but there’s no easy way to put it. You’re in Heaven, dude. Joseph Smith was right.”

“This may sound cold, but in six weeks he’s going to be your problem instead of ours.”