Pseudo New Yorker

Legal humor here.

“‘Cause baby don’t screw in a chair, that’s why.”

“‘Cause the rent is too damn high, and your ass is too damn fat.”

“No, Roy, you aren’t being replaced. But you are being co-opted.”

“You’re a brilliant analyst, Dr. Thompson. But your ‘standing cure’ is for shit.”

“This is how it works: they supply the couch, and I supply the love.”

“You see where this is going, Roy? It’s goodbye Lazy Boy, hello Sex Machine.”

“Don’t look at me like that, Dr. Thompson. It comes totally free with a one-year subscription to the Antimacassar of the Month Club. It’s a steal of a deal, and you know it.”

“They say they’re musicians.”

“Oh, this is the convertible I asked for, Roy? Did I ever tell you how my first husband died?”

“The chair isn’t enough, George. It’s time we took your ennui to a new level.”